walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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