they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
