All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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