They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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