What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
