found the other keg... it's in the tree
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
