It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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