PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
