Got a toothbrush?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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