I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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