yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
