i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
