Do you still have your period?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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