I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
