Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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