Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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