BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
