I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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