he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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