It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
