dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Found the puke drawer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
