i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
