dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize