New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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