He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
