First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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