I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
