Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
