I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize