I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
