im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
