I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
