we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
