Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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