paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Let's get the cat blown out
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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