doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
