My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
