I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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