We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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