saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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