i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
