She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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