reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
