based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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