do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
