have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I will be naked everywhere
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
