The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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