my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
