he shaved USA in his pubs
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
