I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize