I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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