Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
