Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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