Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I enjoy the company of your penis
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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