i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
