I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize