their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
