wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
