and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
