I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
