guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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