So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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