Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
